This is going to sound like an old [Motorsport] Wives' Tale, however it was something I heard first hand at the Autosport show t'other week, and I felt needed to be shared. 

It goes soemthing like this:

Man lives in idyllic cottage in the countryside, complete with large garage/workshop built into the side of a steep hill. You know the sort, sheltered, naturally insulated and a rather funky looking.
Said man is really into his cars and likes to build, restore and fettle in his spare time. The most recent project of his was an Aston Martin replica (a DBR1 if I remember correctly) - a painstakingly handbuilt thing of beauty. It was when the project was very nearly complete that a slight hiccup occured in the project timescale. This was of course due to a cow falling through the roof. Don't you just hate it when that happens?

Yes, really. Not in the (still hilarious) style of the film 'Twister' (which still makes me want a Dodge Ram pickup full of tweaked Pepsi cans), but due to some waterlogged fields above and a wayward bovine imagination.

Obviously this cow didn't seem too pleased with its new surroundings (not to mention the 10ft bellyflop), and so proceeded to run around kicking for half an hour until it was rescued. As you can well imagine, there wasn't much left of the car. Or workshop.

So there you have it; the next time a stone chips your windscreen or a slate falls and damages your bonnet, just remember that it could have been much worse, or indeed a cow.

No Microsoft Word, I did not want to type 'leather or Alcatraz seats'

Is it me, or is it a bit ridiculous that new cars must now be produced with daytime running lights, but it is still legal to drive around with only sidelights at night on streetlit urban roads?

I reckon these have to be just about the geekiest motorcycle/car accessory that you can possibly purchase. C-rikey.

If I found £68,000 in the back pocket of my favourite GeorgebyAsda jeans, I think I might consider buying a Porsche GT3. Or, possibly, an old Lotus or two. Maybe even a garage. I wonder though, what else might be available for such a specific amount of cash?

Mildly concerning secondhand modification part of the day...

Interesting news yesterday on Pistonheads...  I'd like to think they based it exclusively on a certain early 2009 blog and poor Photoshopped pic from this very site.

If only...

Today I've been mostly obsessing over the idea of buying a crash damaged BMW 1 Series and adding an M62 V8 from an E34/38/39 to create a cut-price ~£5,000 1M. Hmm.

Someone really should point these two things out to Santa...

If I was selling a Lotus Elise, this would definitely be the way I'd go about it. If of course I was a complete buffoon...

Anyone get overexcited when an interesting car suddenly hits a new price bracket (despite not being able to afford it)? Try this one for size...

So, where do we even start on how plain wrong-diddly-wrong these things are...?

Or possibly a colour-coded ironing board.

Here... 

The correct location being this one...

I'm not sure how many four year olds go shopping for previous generation supersaloons, but this one is bound to appeal.

Need to house an abnormally tall car in the Midlands on a normal budget? Your prayers have finally been answered... here

Today I discovered that doing a spot of fibreglass work in the kitchen will made the cream in a nearby swiss roll taste like how fibreglass smells. Not good.

Dear eBay member: 'Does this have 14 forward gears? Has the passenger floor ever fallen out at random?' 

Cheap fuel? CHECK.

Free tax? CHECK.

Unrivalled awesomeness? Novelty oversized CHECK.

Is this the ultimate everyday car?

Right, who wants 150 brand new 1997 Chrysler Neons?