Kaizen. Mean anything to you at all? A while back I had to endure a ‘Training Day’ dedicated to both this word and the hot topic of every production engineer worthy of his timeline spreadsheet; ‘Just in Time’ manufacturing.
These are the types of days out which add a little variety to an otherwise mundane working week, but somehow fail to inspire anybody to do their job differently. Team-building is all well and good but there comes an age when putting together a Lego helicopter in the least amount of time possible by using your new found team structure becomes a little tiresome.

So, to give a little insight, ‘Just in time’ manufacturing is a technique which, with shocking predictability, is founded upon the efficiency of a company not to hold unnecessary stock, but for the parts to arrive for assembly just in time (I’d like to think an Australian thought of the name).
Kaizen is a Japanese word which translates as ‘continuous improvement’ and means just that - to strive to be doing everything better on a continuous basis, from design, manufacture and management through to sales and support.

The idea obviously works. As a Japanese product, it is An excitingly dull car - The New Oxymoron GTRhardly surprising that the new Nissan GTR has become so renowned. Continuous improvement of an already spectacular achievement into something so technologically advanced that the fact the dash graphics were done by the same folk who designed Gran Turismo is the least of its similarities to virtual reality. Almost too clinical and well executed to need any human, let alone emotional attachment. Brilliant, but not necessarily what you are looking for in a vehicle, certainly not from one bought with the heart instead of the head.

Surely though, if we all lived and worked by these strict efficiency rules there would be no point in the industry. There certainly would be no point in my opinion or writing this for example, we would buy a car purely on the basis of the nearest garage to where we lived (and, let’s be honest, it would probably be a Kia Ceed).

So it boils down to character; just like design flair/passion/elegance, it is not something that has that as much of a chance to develop in a Kaizen environment where the designers and engineers are being prodded by a stick (proverbial or real carbon fibre) to be more productive. Alfa 156 rear door handles were probably thought up outdoors, supping Peroni. Great detail, great design, but the function is no improvement over the lesser known 155 handle.
Unfortunately for the passion seekers, these techniques have to be all the more important as car manufacturers strive to survive. With the onset of new regulations, environmental concerns and economic crises, the corporations have to bring in the polished Neil Godwins of the world to replace the David Brents.

No matter how hard they try though, no matter how efficient the ‘Just in time’ process becomes, there is always going to be the odd little hiccup up that slips through the net and seemingly goes unnoticed.
My favourite example of this philosophy started a few years ago when someone at Mercedes obviously looked at the design brief for the TVR Chimaera and realised that clean uncluttered panels added to the beauty of car design.
Shortly afterwards the ‘door mirror indicator’ was born, leaving the front wing of the new S Class unholier than thou, soon to be copied by aftermarket parts companies (and hence most modified hatches), then finally by every other premium mainstream manufacturer. However, such was the panic to keep up with all the Demon Freaks cars that the manufacturers’ parts supply processes hit a slight hiccup. There was an overlap of the old front wings (with indicator holes) and the new pattern wing which was as smooth as a baby’s, erm, arm (in these days of ‘Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep’ I really daren’t write anything about the private parts texture of a toddler).

Fear not though, there was a solution waiting in the wings. A quick and easy plastic badge, conveniently the same size as the lense that used to reside and displaying ‘Sharan’ or similar in raised chrome lettering (for all the public who wanted to know so much they just could not wait to see the back).
It was clever because the marketing types knew that the Sharan buying population of dullards wouldn’t spot this subtle coverup of almost government scale proportions, hence no one was any the wiser.

Automotive quirks at their very best, my Kaizen lecturer would be having a heart attack.

They are so rare it took me months to find one to photograph...