What is the first rule of selling a car in the classifieds? Tradition would say that it is one of two things: 
The first of these factors up for contention would definitely be photographs. They are not exactly hard to produce in this day and age when it is difficult to purchase a mobile phone without a camera, so just a few shots in daylight that are not taken from an upstairs window (you lazy arses) should suffice.

The second is 'information information information'. You don't need to witter on about how it once overtook a 2.0i Mondeo so "is actually really fast for a 1.6", just the basics like tax and test, mileage, service history, niggles and price are most of the way there.

However I have a new rule that should without a doubt be the first thing you think about when pondering whether or not to sell your car. Go to the bathroom, lean on the basin and look at yourself in the mirror very carefully. You can now asses the following: "Am I a twat?"

Autotrader (along with any other publication which prints tips on how to sell your vehicle privately) should really include a small pull-out vanity mirror in their bindings for potential candidates to have a quick peek and double check, for it is the number one rule of getting the price that you are looking for in the sale.

What has brought this on? No, it is not THE USE OF 

BIZARRE AND OFTEN HUGE ITALIC 

AND WIERDLY JUSTIFIED TEXT all over t'shop.

It is not even people who think it is fine and dandy to sell their car without a V5 and not state it in the description "as you just send off for one from the DVLA, what's the problem mate?" 

Infact (shock horror to those that have noticed I'm rather partial to eBay Motors) it is not even for once anything to do with our favourite auction site. 
You see yesterday I casually phoned a seller from a classified advert on Pistonheads, a website where the majority of users are assumed to have at least a vague interest in the automobile. I was not, truth be told, that interested in buying said car, merely seeking some more information. However this did not matter as the seller never answered. The phone (which I rang from my non-withheld mobile number) simply rang out after a minute, and there was no voicemail option. Less than a minute later I received a text stating merely the following two words in capital letters:

"WHO THAT"

Which was then sent again a few minutes later:

"WHO THAT"

Cheers mate, no wonder your car is still for sale (needless to say I had no intention of replying).
So the next time you think of advertising, just go and have a cheeky peek at yourself, you never know how much time it may save you.